I cant decide if I should let hubby read this blog. He does not even know yet that I am doing it, but if he finds out and I tell him not to look at it he wont. I think. But maybe I should just show it to him and let him read it. There are things I had planned to write about that I do not necessarily want to share with him. But overall it turns him on hugely to be aware of my control. Anytime I tell him how I am going to control him more deeply its like a magic spell. I tell him Im going to deepen my control of him, and this excites him so much that he immediately becomes more attentive and more submissive and my control is more than it was.
And when he notices some subtle manipulation I have done, like when he realized that I had moved his underwear to the very bottom drawer just to reinforce in his mind that he is to bow and kneel and that hs will is small and subject to mine. He was kneeling there without me in the room, putting away his boxers and when I came in it was like a light bulb went on over his head. He asked me if I had done it to control him more, and I cupped his cheek in my hand, and said ‘of course my helpless little slut.’ His eyes sort of rolled up into his head and i thought he was going to cum right then in his pants, or go into a hypnotic trance for me. (I have to write about that soon. I love to reach right into his head and mess him up)
So what do you think? Should I show him this blog? Meghan my only domme friend says no but I think it would be ok.
We have been doing this for almost a year now, and I have to say I have never felt as beautiful as I do now. I’m overweight, and hubby never cared much about that, God bless him. He was always attracted to me, and even before we started our femdom journey together I would sometimes use sex to get what I wanted from him. But now I feel like a fucking goddess most of the time.
The reason is obvious. I feel beautuful because hubby wants me so much all the time. You might think that it would not feel real to me because I am MAKING him want me more and more all the time, with orgasm denial and various ways of mindfucking him, but it IS real. I could not own his cock and his brain this way without him wanting me, and I know he really does. His desire is real and intense and intoxicating. Because I have not created something out of nothing here. I just intensify his desire. And it is not like I am making it artificially intense. Really all I do is prevent his bad habits of masturbating, and bring him to the natural and proper state of insane lust for his wife that any man would have if he did not jack off all of the time.
So I am just doing him the favor of helping him avoid a bad habit, and without that bad habit in the way he naturally desires me so much that it overwhelms him and makes him do whatever the fuck I want him to do.
The main way I control him is through sex. Or the lack of it, sometimes. Originally I thought I would put him in a chastity cage, and I still might if I can find one that I think will be safe for his little cocklet, but early on I realized I don’t need one. I started out by telling him that now I owned his cock and balls and ass, and that he couldn’t touch them without my permission, beyond the minimum necessary for hygiene. Then I checked him every night after work, even as our son watched tv at the other end of the house. I would tease him hard, and I could tell from how hard he gets how fast whether he has been naughty and cum that day. He disobeyed only twice, because he learned that the punishment for cumming without my permission is that I stop all bdsm with him for several days. This was a fairly effective deterrent to begin with, because I know my man and I know his fantasies and he really, really wants my control. But after conditioning him for a few months, I got him to the point where he would rather get hit by a car than displease me by playing with my cock. So I have him caged in chastity without a physical cage, and as long as I check him every day, it works better than any silicone or steel gadget could.
I guess it’s a common thing. I knew hubby was looking at porn sometimes because he told me so. I asked to see what he looked at, and at first he did not want to show me but eventually I convinced him. It was all female dominant male submissive stuff. (what I call fdms now because I am lazy about typing) I was surprised at how much it turned me on, and I asked him if he wanted me to do those things to him. I had never seen him blush the way he did as he said yes to that.
So I looked online at a lot of blogs and things to learn more about this. I had always liked bdsm, and knew i was sort of switchy, but i had never tried taking on the dominant role before and I wanted to learn more about it
Most of what I found seemed irellevant because it was unrelated to anything i wanted. Now that we have been doing this a while I find more of it useful than I did at first. I still don’t want to whip him bloody or cbt him into impotence but a lot of the things about control that I learned I learned from blogs of dommes doing those things. Control is control and the exact path that you take to it can be very different for different people, but its really what you do with it that is so different from domme to domme. I do not want to make him eat cum but the manipulation, persuasion and conditioning that other women have used to get their bitches to do that are really the same as what i did to get hubby to take toys up his ass and wear a collar around the house in front of our friends. But some of it took a long time. At first I just had him kneel and lick me out and call me Mistress and wash the dishes. I added things one by one by one.